Friday, July 10, 2009

Friday Mailbag: ALL ABOUT ME!

Since questions are lacking due to my internet obscurity, I'm going to present interesting facts about me.

Fact #1 - I'm Shaun. If anyone else says that they're Shaun, they're an impostor. Likely a doppelgänger attempting to take credit for my
massive future successes. No matter what he says, DON'T EAT THE COOKIES!

Fact #2 - When I was in sixth grade, my mother attempted to convince me to wear girls shoes.

Fact #3 - My first understanding of sex came from reading a book titled: The Devil's Cat. I was Nine.

Fact #4 - I nearly failed 11th grade English.

Fact #5 - I find it nearly impossible to stay awake in lecture type settings, including classes. Which is likely the cause of Fact #4.

Fact #6 - I can't fall asleep with my back facing the door, even if the door is locked. If someone's going to break in and kill me, I want to see their face.

Fact #7 - Ever since I saw the movie IT, if I think about the movie while in the shower or bathroom, I have to leave because of the scene where Pennywise comes up through the drain.

Fact #8 - I'm still not a hundred percent sure how to use commas correctly.

Fact #9 - People who mispronounce the word supposedly make me want to gnaw off their face. There's no B in supposedly, people!

Fact #10 - I was so skinny in my teens that when I went into the hospital for a minor procedure, my nurses were convinced I was anorexic. Yeah. No
t so skinny anymore.

Fact #11 - Not so much a fact as an anecdote. When I was 21 my mom saw me come downstairs in a suit and told me I looked handsome. I said, "You're my mom, you have to say stuff like that." She replied, "No really. I mean it. Because your dad and I were so worried you weren't going to grow out of your ugly phase." By the way, ugly phases, like the 70's, can come back.

Fact #12 - I went to Italy once and when I was in Rome, I accidentally wandered to Vatican City where I accidentally wandered into a crowd and saw the Pope speak. I even have a picture. Somewhere.

Fact #13 - I have held the following jobs: dishwasher, grocery bagger, computer builder, sunglass salesman, shoe salesman, waiter, GAP salesman, Discovery Channel Store, Starbucks barista, Wine company manager, I worked in a garden statuary, for Allstate, Levi's, a lawfirm, United Way, and my current job as an IT Geek.

Fact #14 - I disliked Catcher in the Rye. I also dislike all the works of Ernest Hemmingway.

Fact #15 - I once sold sunglasses to Alyssa Milano.

Fact #16 - I am not afraid of heights but I am afraid of falling.

Fact #17 - I played Little League as a boy. I sucked. My coach's philosophy was, "If you can't hit the ball, let the ball hit you." I grew so afraid of the ball that my baseball career ended mid-game when I refused to take my turn at bat because I couldn't face being hit anymore.

Fact #18 - I suffer from migraines.

Fact #19 - I am allergic to only one medication. Imitrex. Imitrex is also the one medication that effectively battles my migraines.

Fact #20 - I have 4 tattoos. I got each one on the anniversary of a specific significant event.

Fact #21 - My mom is only aware that I have 1 tattoo.

Fact #22 - I hate wearing shoes.

Fact #23 - When I was a teenager, I wrote only at night. Now that I'm an adult, I write only in the morning.

Fact #24 - I write an average of 2000 words per day.

Fact #25 - I throw out about an average 1400 of those words per day.

Fact #26 - My favorite cereal is Fruity Pebbles and my favorite chips are Cheetoh's.

Fact #27 - The first band I ever saw was Natalie Merchant.

Fact #28 - For most of my young life I believed I would die by age twenty.

Fact #29 - I very nearly died of liver failure two months before my 20th birthday.

Fact #30 - My best friend and I had a t-shirt company called Too Freaks. I use one of our shirt ideas in The Deathday Letter.

Fact #31 - I only drink coffee hot.

Fact #32 - Joss Whedon is my idol.

Fact #33 - My favorite number is 33.


  1. Ditto on #18 and #32.

    And you're not alone on #7. I still freak out a little if I step too close to the drain.

  2. #11: Hahahaaaa. Oh, moms. I like how she tried to build you up, and then totally balled it. My mom wrote a satirical family Christmas letter one year, in which she described me as "homely". I'm only half-convinced she was joking.

    Also: ditto Hemingway. I haven't read him since high school, so I may enjoy them more, but I remember not understanding how any of the characters felt about ANYTHING. Maybe they don't and that's the point. Expatriot disillusionment and all that. Bleh.

  3. Cara: What do you take for your migraines? My current remedy involves daily doses of aspirin and coffee. I've considered acupuncture and botox as I've heard success stories about each. And yeah, I totally worship at the altar of Joss. If I could meet and talk to only one person, he'd be at the top of the list.

  4. My mom is big on stuff like that. God love her. She's alternately insane and the most down to earth person I know.

    When I started college and all the intro American lit classes were all Hemmingway this and Hemmingway that, I decided the only way I was going to be able to effectively refute all the arguments that Hemmingway's dialog was amazing or (my favorite) that he wrote the best female characters, was to read all of Hemmingway's fiction. My conclusion was that if infinite monkeys typing at infinite typewriters for all time would eventually produce the works of Shakespeare, then it'd only take ten monkeys with sticks in the sand to produce Hemmingway's. Yeah. Professors loved me.

  5. "...if infinite monkeys typing at infinite typewriters for all time would eventually produce the works of Shakespeare, then it'd only take ten monkeys with sticks in the sand to produce Hemmingway's."

    I'm so quoting that. :D


Keep it clean, keep it classy, and jokes are always appreciated.