Since writers will spend an awful amount of time waiting, I thought I'd share the top ten things to do while waiting for whatever publishing thing you're waiting for
10. Stalk your agent/editor/crit partners on Facebook/Twitter/their blog. The trick here is to be subtle about it. If your agent is reading the first draft of your fab new manuscript, dropping comments on their blog asking if they read anything good lately, is pretty unlikely to win you any points. Nor is asking your agent what they're up to over the weekend and following it up with, "Oh, you're probably really busy reading, aren't you? Wink, wink." Stalk from a distance and remember that if you can't be subtle, be a little bit crazy.
9. Google yourself. Google alerts are great but they're not nearly as satisfying as a real time search that brings up obscure links to your book being sold in a Malaysian veterinarian's office. For an extra thrill, perform the same search on Yahoo, Bing, or hit them all simultaneously at Dogpile.com
8. Write blog posts. They don't have to be lucid or rational, they just have to be made of words. Much like this blog post. Oh damn. Bonus points for writing a post that designed to lure in the trolls. Post must include the words: always, never, hate, or Twilight. Example: Ebooks are never, ever going to be as popular as print books. Twilight sux.
7. Watch your Amazon rank and cry into your vodka bottle. The less said about this shameful practice, the better.
6. Tweet random things about your life. Great examples include: My cat likes to eat my toes. For bonus points, create poems out of your tweets:
I ate corn
Corn is yellow
I'll be seeing that corn
5. Go to the gym. Let's face it. Waiting's tough. You probably ate a box of Ring Dings just reading the first five items on this list. If you need help finding motivation to run, call 1-800-Rent-a-bear. Then run. Oh dear god, RUN!
4. Change out of your pajamas and go bird watching.....I'm only kidding. Put the knife down or I'm calling the bear again.
3. Reorganize your writing desk. Make sure when you clean it, you pay special attention to that oily spot in the center where you banged your head at least once per day.
2. Check your reviews on Goodreads. Bonus points for creating fake personas and arguing with any and all bad reviews.
1. The number one thing to do while you're waiting is: write another book. Because the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results, and everyone knows that writers are the most insane of all.
On the flipside, just remember, when you're agent/editor/crit partner gets your manuscript back to you in record time, they like to be paid in cupcakes.