Friday, August 3, 2012


I was going to say something about how ridiculous it is that people are fighting over a statement made by the owner of a fast food chain, or about how ludicrous I think it is that pro-chicken folk are attempting to make themselves out to be the victims by claiming that Chick-Fil-A's right to free speech is being trampled on.  But the truth is, there's already a lot of great write ups about it.

Instead, I want to just saw a few words on why any of this shit even matters to me.

The truth of the matter is that I don't even believe in marriage. I think it's an outdated institution that creates more problems in the modern age than it solves. I believe that if two people love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together, then they can prove that by spending the rest of their lives together. They don't need an expensive ring or fancy ceremony to prove that.  To me, all that pomp is little more than a giant circle jerk.

However, it's not my job to topple the institution of marriage. If I choose not to get married, that's my deal. I believe that everyone should have the right to make that choice for themselves.  Which is why I fight for the rights of gays and lesbians to have their marriages recognized in the eyes of the government.

Not the church, mind you. I have my own personal spiritual beliefs that I'm not going to share here, but I was brought up protestant, converted to Catholicism, and I've studied different religions. I have a ton of respect for those religions, their beliefs, and their teachings. I may not always agree with them, but I respect them.  And I would never force any religion to recognize a thing they did not believe in.

But the institution of marriage has both civic and religious components. Most people combine the two, but the civic component and the religious need not interfere. Two people may get married without any type of church ceremony.

That's why I disregard any argument made against gay marriage on the basis of religion.  Gay marriage is not going to force churches to officiate or bless any union they choose not to. It will only force the state to grant the SAME rights afforded to straight adults. You can argue that God says gay marriage is wrong, but God isn't the one granting gay couples the right to file their taxes jointly, so until he starts signing marriage certificates, the argument is invalid.

None of this is about a gay agenda or giving gays special rights. I don't pay my gay taxes or my gay electric bill. I don't drive on a gay turnpike in my gay car to work at my gay job.  Gays and lesbians are not asking for special rights...just rights.  Period. Full stop.

And whether or not your religion allows you to agree is beside the point.  Some religions disagree with working on Sundays, but they don't attempt to force every business to close on Sundays do they?  That's because religion and politics are two different things. We don't legislate what religion people follow and religious leaders shouldn't dictate legislative policy.

Someone in a post I read made a very astute observation. I wish I could quote it verbatim but I forgot to bookmark it, so you'll have to forgive my poor attempt to paraphrase.  Essentially he or she reminded me that granting rights to gays isn't forcing them upon everyone else or taking them away either.  Granting gays and lesbians the right to marry doesn't diminish the civic institution of marriage any more than the 30 minute marriages of most hollywood couples, and it won't force straight people to marry gays either.  The truth of the matter is that the only people gay marriage will affect is gay people.  If you want to argue that gay marriage diminishes marriage in a religious sense, go right ahead! I'd suggest you also talk about how the 50% divorce rate ALSO diminishes marriage in a religious sense.  But since religious policy and government policy aren't the same thing, it doesn't really matter.  What matters is that America is a country that stands for freedom. Freedom for everyone.  And continuing to deny gays the right to marry is institutionalizing discrimination and hate.

You know, I'll support your right to call me names and tell me I'm going to hell all you want so long as you don't try to deny me my right to freedom and happiness.  You have the right to hate, all gays want is the right to love.

As for the Chick-Fil-A thing...well, once the Facebook tsunami of rage has died down, I'm sure everyone will forget about this and they'll go back to being the third-rate fast-food joint they were before.


  1. Very well said. I am so tired of religion governing a variety of our basic rights. Everyone has the right to believe what s/he chooses. People came to this country to avoid persecution for their religious beliefs. But why are we hiding behind religion to allow or not allow humans basic rights? And I agree with you about divorce and Hollywood. Isn't that just as bad or if a marriage is a joke and shambles it's totally ok and that's what G-d would want as long as it's between a man and a woman? And don't even get me started on women's rights.... The thing that confused me about this whole chicken mess is that people were saying we were denying the guy free speech. Who was? He can say what he wants, but why is me disagreeing with him, denying him anything? Doesn't free speech work both ways?

    1. The reason for the complaint that they were denying Mr. Cathy the right to free speech is because of some saber rattling from a few cities and towns who threatened to keep Chick-Fil-A from doing business in their town. The thing is, the threats were empty, and if any city every attempted to bar a business from setting up shop in their domain over a personal belief, you can bet that most of the people who support gay marriage would be right there supporting that business's rights. But no Chick-Fil-A's have actually been kept out of any city on those grounds, so it's more of a smoke screen, in my opinion. A way for those who support Chick-Fil-A to cloak their intolerant attitudes in the cloth of freedom. By hiding behind this ridiculous first amendment argument they've fabricated, they think to prove that they're just fighting for truth, democracy, and the American way, when in fact, they're just fighting to keep discrimination institutionalized. It's a sad perversion of the argument.

  2. I'm bookmarking this :) I've tried to explain this to my sister when we've gotten in this discussion before and I just wasn't very eloquent about it. Next time, I'll just send this link :) Well said.

    1. Awww, thanks! I just don't see how people don't understand that the religious arguments against marriage and the civil arguments have nothing to do with the other. Many religions bar things that most people do every day, yet we don't make laws against them. Religion frowns upon adultery, but I don't see Christians fighting to outlaw divorce or to keep adulterers from entering into second marriages. Why should gay marriage be treated any differently?

      Religions should and are free to feel how they want about any issue they chose. Those opinions, however, should not be the basis for or against policy, especially when that policy denies rights to citizens that are enjoyed by everyone else.

  3. I have a lot of opinions about this, but I'm not putting them here. I owe you an email as is.

    1. Well, I promised a reply to every comment, so here it is! I await your emails :)


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