Wednesday, June 5, 2013

FML Madness - Christine Johnson

Today's FML story is from Christine Johnson, author of Claire de Lune, Nocturne, and The Gathering Dark.  All I have to say about this is that I am so glad I live in Florida and don't have to deal with snow :)

When asked to think of a FML moment from high school, there’s one that springs to mind first. It wasn’t a huge moment - my life didn’t shear away from it, headed off in an entirely new direction. But I remember it, with utter clarity, more years later than I’d like to admit.
At the time, I was a junior, and a dedicated actress, bound for DePaul University’s acting program. It was a Saturday morning, and I had some performance or other that I was supposed to arrive at relatively early. It had snowed in the night, just a bit. Enough to sparkle, but I could still see the tips of the grass above the flakes. I used to park my car - a blue Oldsmobile (please hold your comments) - on the street in front of my parents’ house. It was a terrible parking spot, because it was at a low area in the street and it tended to gather water and get mucky and disgusting.

Anyway, I was headed out for this morning call time, and I stepped off the crunchy, frozen grass and onto the snowy street to walk around to the driver’s side of my car.
Problematically, under the fine layer of snow was a thick layer of ice.
I slipped.
I fell.
When I say “I fell,” I don’t mean I took a knee or landed rather adorably on my back side. I mean arms-pinwheeling-legs-akimbo-flat-on-my-face bit it.
I was fine. That was the good news. The bad news was that, out of the corner of my eye, I realized I could see a car, driving down the street towards me. I was in no danger of being hit by this car - that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I had been SEEN. I hesitated, just for a moment, while the enormity of my embarrassment washed over me. What was I going to do? Pretend it hadn’t happened?
With as much dignity as I could muster, I got to my feet, turned to the approaching car, and gave a deep and sincere bow. The car slowed to a stop, the driver rolled down his window and said: “I give it an eight.”
I laughed. He laughed. But it felt like laughing with, rather than laughing at. I’d taken that totally graceless and stupid moment, and, rather than letting it own me, I had owned it. It was a good lesson.

That, and walking really carefully when it’s snowed. That’s a good lesson, too.

Today, I've got a copy of The Gathering Dark, and a copy of Defy the Dark, in which Christine's story,  Shadowed appears.  For today's contest, leave a comment with the score of your most embarrassing fall.

Christine Johnson grew up in, moved away from and eventually came home to Indianapolis, Indiana. She lives there with her husband and two kids in a creaky old house that is disappointingly un-haunted. Christine is the author of Claire de Lune, Nocturne and The Gathering Dark. You can find her on the Internet at


  1. OMG best story ever. You owned it like a boss.

    Reminds me a bit of this:

    I'm off to follow you on Twitter, Christine!

  2. Great story! Don't think I could have been this graceful. :-)


Keep it clean, keep it classy, and jokes are always appreciated.