Thursday, December 12, 2013

Who Do You Want To Be?

Sometimes I think about quitting writing.

It's fucking hard.  I never get a day off.  I never get a vacation.  The pay is less than minimum wage.  It's a grueling, demoralizing, lonely path.

There are days when I wish I'd never picked up a book, never learned to type, never dreamed of other worlds.  Maybe I'd be happier working my 9-5, going home, and playing video games.  Maybe I'd be happier if I didn't have this monster in my brain driving me to always be writing something.  Always be working.  Maybe I'd be happier if I didn't spend half my life dreaming up imaginary people and situations and worlds.

Probably.

Maybe.

Or maybe not.

I'm driven to do this thing I love.  It took me almost 30 years to get to the point where I accepted that getting anywhere with writing was going to require more of me than I'd ever given to anything.  It was going to require all my free time, all my energy, every breath and beat of my heart that I could spare.  It would require my social life, my TV time, my quiet nights, and my lazy Sundays.

It's not just writing, it's anything you're passionate about.  Painting, photography, web design, cooking, engineering.  Following your passion requires nothing less than everything.  Hard work and sacrifice are only the beginning.

But it's worth it in ways you can't imagine.  Somedays it won't feel like it.  Some days, maybe most days, you'll want to quit.  Then something will happen—something like seeing some final artwork for the comic book portion of a book you wrote three years ago that people told you over and over again wasn't publishable—and you'll realize that all the work IS worth it.  That little morsel will nourish you and give you the strength to crawl forward.

If you want something, do it.  Ignore the people who tell you it's impossible.  Ignore that nagging voice inside you telling you you're going to fail.  Seriously, fuck that voice.  Because, even if you DO fail, at least you failed doing something you love.  Fight inertia, fight laziness, fight fear.  Just get up off your ass and do it.

There will be days you think about quitting, just like there are days I think about quitting writing. But I don't quit, I never quit writing, because this is what gives my life meaning.  This is who I am.  This is who I want to be.

Who do you want to be?

5 comments:

  1. Thanks for this! Well said. :)

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  2. Nothing short of inspiring. Great post.

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  3. Thank you :) Having a great community like you all makes it totally worthwhile.

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  4. I hate the manuscript I'm writing. But I also can't quit this shit.

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